Mike King

LANDMARK EPISODE. Mike King, ex-comedian, mental health advocate, NZ of the Year 2019, founder of I Am Hope/Gumboot Friday, delivers the most powerful and raw conversation in the podcast's history. Mike shares his own battles (cocaine, alcohol, relentless inner critic), explains why 80% of suicidal kids never ask for help ("I don't want to hurt my parents"), breaks down the "mental health cake" (anxiety as the foundation of 78% of all issues), and challenges adults to make themselves vulnerable so young people feel safe approaching them. Andy opens up about his own drinking, yelling at home, and how Drew Knowles saved his life. Mike refuses to tell a joke, after an NRL player he'd spoken to took his own life, he resolved never to dilute a mental health message with comedy. The $24M government funding goes 100% to counselors through Gumboot Friday's platform of 550+ online counselors.

Key Topics Discussed

• The inner critic. Mike's: "a crying newborn baby with colic, screaming hateful messages 24/7." Turned to drugs/alcohol as escape. "The relentless pursuit of temporary happiness", drugs, alcohol, gambling, gym, porn are all forms. "Buzz only lasts 8-9 hours, then the baby's crying louder and I've got a headache."
• Youth suicide. 40% of kids have suicidal thoughts before leaving school. 80% never reach out for help. #1 reason kids don't tell parents: "I don't want to hurt them." "They would rather die than tell you they are thinking about dying." Three reasons for suicide: (1) I'm hurting, want the pain to stop, (2) I'm causing hurt/I'm a burden, (3) I want to cause hurt.
• Making yourself approachable. If no young person has ever come to you about suicidal thoughts, "look in the mirror and ask what makes me unapproachable." Answer: you haven't made yourself vulnerable. "You're wearing this perfect mask pretending you've got your shit together."
• $24M for I Am Hope/Gumboot Friday. Coming in 4x $6M installments into KiwiSaver account. Every cent goes to counselors via invoice. Not one cent for operations. "If I die tomorrow, that money will still go to the counselors."
• Mental health cake. Tier 1 (base): anxiety (78% of all issues). Tier 2: depression. Tier 3: stress. Tier 4: cupcakes (drugs, alcohol, bipolar, bullying, vaping). Politicians focus on cupcakes (easy wins). "If we cut anxiety in half, we cut everything in half." Root cause vs symptoms.
• Online counseling as future. 550 counselors (growing to 800), 400+ do online. Removes stigma of physical location. Kids comfortable in own bedroom with laptop. Build relationship over time, eventually may want face-to-face.
• Broken public mental health pathway. GP diagnosis → "mentally ill" label forever → long waiting lists (eating disorders: up to 18 months) → under-resourced worker. Gumboot Friday: kids talk about little problems before they become big problems.
• Parenting. Find what kids are passionate about, use connections to get them paid for it. Don't impose Plan B. "You know why there's so many miserable middle-aged men? They're living Plan B." Kids' tantrums = they feel safe. Lie on the floor with them. Share bad days with kids. Ask kids for advice.
• Andy's personal story. Drinking as coping mechanism. Wife knew. Yelling at home. "I was more polite to strangers than the people I love." Met Drew Knowles on a walk at One Tree Hill. "He saved my life."
• Why no joke. After an NRL talk, a talented young footballer in the room took his own life. Mike blames himself for ending with a joke. "I shared this message that needed to be remembered, and I fucked it all up by telling a joke."
• Political system. Every change of government, heads of bureaucracies should reapply. "Politicians come and go. Bureaucrats stay the same."

Notable Quotes

• Mike: "80% of suicidal kids never reach out and ask for help. They would rather die than tell you they are thinking about dying."
• Mike: "If 40% of kids have a crisis... and no young person has ever come to you, look in the mirror and ask: what is it about me that makes me unapproachable?"
• Mike: "At the heart of all suicide is hurt. They are people who are hurting."
• Mike: "I don't remember any good things I've ever done. I only remember the bad shit."
• Mike: "78% of all mental health issues start with anxiety. If we cut anxiety in half, we cut everything in half."
• Andy: "Drew Knowles saved my life."

Guest Background

Mike King, ex-comedian, mental health advocate, NZ of the Year 2019. Founder of I Am Hope and Gumboot Friday. Struggled with cocaine addiction, alcohol, and relentless inner critic his entire life. Never feels good enough. Interviewed 1000 people with suicide attempts for research. Platform: 550+ counselors, 90%+ of mental health issues start with overthinking. Refuses to dilute mental health messages with comedy after an NRL player he'd spoken to took his own life. Was previously referenced in Ep 17 (Brigitte Dunbar) and supported by Alan Farragher (Ep 47).